Be Scared and Do It Anyway: Facing Fear, One Step at a Time
Lately, I’ve found myself often saying a particular phrase in therapy sessions:
✨ Be scared and do it anyway. ✨
And this week, I took my own advice.
When Fear Gets in the Way of What We Want
For more than six months, I’ve wanted to join a gym. My pandemic-era basement workouts just weren’t cutting it anymore. But something kept stopping me.
It wasn’t time.
It wasn’t money…
It was fear.
Fear of being judged.
Fear of not doing it “perfectly.”
Fear of being new at something.
My anxious part spun a pretty convincing story:
I walk into the gym and it’s full of ultra-fit elite athletes. The record scratches. Everyone stops to stare. I use a machine wrong. I get laughed at. I leave and never come back.
So, instead of facing that fear, I told myself:
❌ I don’t have time.
❌ It’s too expensive.
❌ The basement is fine.
But the truth is, these were just safe excuses. Comfortable lies that anxiety wants to tell me to help me avoid discomfort and keep me safe.
The Moment I Did It Anyway
On Monday, I walked into that gym.
I imagined myself scooping up my anxious part, plopping it on my hip, handing it a juice box and whispering:
💬 “We can be scared and do it anyway.”
💬 “We can cope. We can be brave.”
I told the front desk staff I was new and asked for a tour. Tim was super nice and more than willing to show me around. He told me to come back to the desk if I had any questions. I went into the locker room and took some deep breaths as I put my bag in a locker. I hyped myself up a bit and then ventured out into the vast expanse of gym equipment. I first climbed onto a bike to warm up, still feeling a little shaky. I peddled away while scoping the place out. I had a backup plan for what to do next - walk on the treadmill or head to the beginner circuit if heading to the machines and free weights felt too overwhelming.
Then, I took a deep breath, turned up the music in my AirPods, and nervously headed into the free weights section. I found a free bench and sidled up right beside a super fit ‘gym bro’, opened my notes app, and got to work. I even YouTubed how to do a certain exercise mid-workout. 🤦🏻♀️
And to my anxiety’s surprise:
No one stared.
No one laughed.
No giant neon “newbie” sign appeared above my head.
In fact, I was so focused on what I was doing, I barely noticed anyone else. I even tried a machine - these are the most intimidating for me.
I left that gym so damn proud of myself. And truthfully? I loved it!
I Didn’t Conquer Fear Overnight
Here’s what helped: I created a Fear Ladder - a gentle, step-by-step approach to slowly face what felt too big to tackle all at once.
🪜 My Fear Ladder:
Visualize myself going to the gym
Browse local gyms online
Research beginner workouts
Talk to gym-going friends
Make a plan in my Notes app on my phone
Pack a gym bag and get a lock for the locker
Sign up online
Go during a quiet time + do a short treadmill walk while observing
Do step 8 again + try one piece of equipment
Gradually work up to busier times and full workouts
Fear ladders aren’t about avoiding fear; they’re about building your confidence gently, with intention, and by taking small manageable steps.
What Are You Avoiding Right Now?
Is there something you’ve been putting off because of fear, anxiety, or self-doubt?
What story is your anxious or worried part telling you?
Could it use a little soothing… maybe a cuddle and a juice box? -Haha!
You don’t have to wait to feel fearless.
You don’t have to feel 100% ready.
You can be scared… and do it anyway.
I believe in you. 💛 💪🏻